Had a little freak-out yesterday, but I'm a little better now. It's just that this change terrifies me. Adam thinks I'm just being dramatic, but I told him to shove it -- this isn't just giving up a bad habit. This change is to my entire lifestyle, and that's huge.
Everything is going to change. Drinking begets laziness, which begets "cooking" lower quality food, which begets weight gain, which begets poorer health, etc. And even though this is obviously a good decision, I still hesitate. Unfortunately, not drinking begets awkward excuses as to why you can't join your dad at everyone's favorite bar like you used to every weekend, and since your dad is awesome, you feel bad telling him that he can't see you. Sure, it's a legitimate excuse this time because you're going camping, but what to say next time? And the next? It sucks to not go to your favorite bar, because other than obvious reasons, their chicken Caesar salad, their popcorn shrimp, and their hot ham & cheese sandwiches are off the fucking hook. I'm sure that Adam and I will still go there, but the last time Adam quit drinking, he said he even felt uncomfortable in steakhouses because there would be a bar area there. But I would hate to never go to my favorite place again.
Went shopping for camping gear yesterday and spent about $350. Yikes. We didn't have anything -- a tent, cooking gear, sleeping bags. But at least we'll have those things for a long time. Then today before we leave, we're going shopping again -- this time, for enough food and smokes to last the trip... which reminds me, I need to figure out how to cook in the outdoors.
Fortunately, there's a gas station near the camp grounds, so I'll be able to nip by if I need tampons or something.
Oh god, I hope I don't need tampons this weekend. That would suck.
During yesterday's trip, I bought a journal so I can chronicle everything while I'm there. I'll type it out on here, unedited. I plan to write a lot, while Adam downloaded like a thousand (not exaggerating) books onto his iPad. I'll probably hike around the grounds if I get restless.
We both realize that this trip is probably going to suck, and we are going to be bored to tears. Even when I'm at home, with a TV, computer, my phone, everything there to entertain me... I have to drink to keep from being bored out of my mind.
Maybe that's just it. Everything bores the living crap out of me. For a second, it makes me feel like, "well, maybe I'm just a misunderstood genius that is above all these uninteresting people," but then I remember what my mom always said -- that only a boring person is bored for long.
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